patriciak8
God I miss you.....Its been1month 6days and the hurting wont go away..
Sometimes I have my emotions on check but other days it feels like 12th June all over again..I donno how I'm able to go a day knowing that I dont have you...I miss you sooooo much..I feel like my life is a mess and if you were here it would be better..I'm so lonely without you..I feel empty I feel alone..I feel like I dont have a purpose without you..
I hope you miss me asmuch as I miss...the little strength I keep holding on to is from knowing that you loved me soo much and you wouldnt want me to cry everyday and I know you'd need me to keep on being the strong mama loni I always have been...
Its haaard...Its very hard to know that I nolonger have you with me...
Youre still the best thing that ever happened to me and I'll forever cherish our memories together. Indeed I was very bleesed...I still dont understand why you had to go to Dog heaven..but I trust that God had a reason..
I love you so much Loni...so so so much..I hope you're eating your food and drinking all your water..I know you never liked water that much..i hope you also learnt to share your toys as you were used to having everthing to yourself...Know that mommy loves you so much...and she misses you..and she's really trying to be happy..
See you soon baby...again..I love you Loni.



Mama loni
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staceylynn0631
Everything you wrote is what I am feeling... I don't know what to do with myself, my baby got killed yesterday, hit by a car after my son accidentally let him out..we immediately ran to get him but it all happened so fast, how are you doing today? I pray for peace in your heart xoxo
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CB
I feel everything you feel too, We lost our little man on 12th June as well. That day goes over and over in my mind. I replay every final moment, I can only send you my deepest sympathy and to let you know you will be in my thoughts as will Loni as each day passes.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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patriciak8
Dear Zeus mum
I'm sorry for your loss...I know how that raw grief feeling is suffocating..I hope that you will find some strength and comfort in remembering how much she adored you and wouldnt want you to cry..
I remember when Loni was sick I couldnt stop crying..especially seeing her health deteriorate but I tried my best to not cry infront of her cause I knew how much she loved me and that she would never want to cause me any pain..I felt like crying infront of her would break her heart to pieces..I think that even now after her passing..I feel like she's looking at me..and that she's my guardian angel and I know she wouldnt want me to be sad all the time because of her..
I'm sure Zeus feels the same..Our fur babies gave us so much happines in such a short time and loosing them is trully crippling..
I'm better today than I was the other day..I just need to keep reminding myself that seeing me broken down would break her heart..and I dont wanna do that to her..
Thankyou so much for taking time to read my story..
You and your son are in my thoughts and prayers..I hope it gets easier for all of us..
Mama loni
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patriciak8
Dear CB
thank you so much for your kind words..Its heart breaking to loose our loved ones and it helps to know that someone else is there to talk to who will understand..
I hope that we can all have better days ahead..
Mama loni
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heartsick

 

 

I am so very sorry for the loss of your sweet precious Zeus.

The beginning raw searing pain of new grief is just awful.

They take a piece of us when they go,

But they leave a piece of them with us also.

Grief is awful and there is nothing else like this pain.

I am divorced - when I was married I buried my son- at that time I became a Certified Grief Counselor- I used the same graveside service for my Bear as I did for my son.

Please know that when we lose someone we love we don't stop loving them -

LOVE NEVER DIES.

The soul bound connection that is between our babies and ourselves is forever.

Nothing - not death- tears -grief - or sadness will ever break the ties between us for those ties are made of LOVE so strong that NOTHING will ever sever those connections.

LOVE NEVER DIES.

When we grieve for those we love it is because we do not quite know how to live without them. We breathe because we have no choice but the living part takes a huge amount of learning and time.

Grief is not something we get over but something that we learn -slowly- over time- to incorporate into our lives until it becomes a part of us like our bones and our breath.

Please know that we all understand here and we are all here for you.

Please come back and tell us more about your life with your beautiful baby so we can get to know him better through you.

We are all in this together and all walking the same roller coaster path of grief together -

some a bit ahead of you, some by your side, and some will come behind for you to help along.

If you read the beginning of any one of our threads you will see yourself. I, literally, walked in circles wringing my hands. My chest constantly hurt as I was unknowingly holding my breath.

I am always here for you. Feel free to email me or PM me whenever you wish.     BOTH OF YOU!!!

You Are In My Thoughts.                                      

Susan(heartsick)

 

In one of the stars, I shall be living.

In one of them, I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.

~ The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 

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CB
Dear Mama Loni,

There will be better days ahead. We must all believe that. What shape those better days take is hard to know. Maybe a better day is one where we don't cry endlessly, maybe one where the memories fill us with comfort. It could be it is a day following a night when sleep comes easily and brings dreams showing us our little ones are playing happy and in endless sunshine.

Whatever and however they come and many of them, I wish for you that the pain eases and happy memories lifts you.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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patriciak8
Thank you so much susan...this really helps with all that we are going through..also helps me understand grief and why it wont go away...
So sorry for the loss of your son and Bear..you seem to have gone through alot..I hope the days become brighter for you...
Thank you so much
Mama loni
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patriciak8
My girl,
I had not quite understood patience,True Love,Sacrifice,Pure Happiness,Joy,Dedication and commitment until I met you.You were a great blessing in my life..I can't remember a time in my life I was purely and truly happy than when I was with you..You were the only one apart from God that I have sincerely loved more than myself..
I had never quite understood the pain of Heart break until I lost you.You were/are my heart..I love you deeply baby..Time might have made it easier to cope with the grief but the pain is still very much raw.
#MamaLoni
Mama loni
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MyBella
patriciak8 wrote:
My girl, I had not quite understood patience,True Love,Sacrifice,Pure Happiness,Joy,Dedication and commitment until I met you.You were a great blessing in my life..I can't remember a time in my life I was purely and truly happy than when I was with you..You were the only one apart from God that I have sincerely loved more than myself.. I had never quite understood the pain of Heart break until I lost you.You were/are my heart..I love you deeply baby..Time might have made it easier to cope with the grief but the pain is still very much raw. #MamaLoni


So well said, I love this letter to your precious Loni. I share your pain and I know how so much you miss your girl. I hope in time you can bring your fond memories forward to help heal your broken heart.

Sending positive healing thoughts your way, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely, Don & Vera
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patriciak8
MyBella wrote:
patriciak8 wrote:
My girl, I had not quite understood patience,True Love,Sacrifice,Pure Happiness,Joy,Dedication and commitment until I met you.You were a great blessing in my life..I can't remember a time in my life I was purely and truly happy than when I was with you..You were the only one apart from God that I have sincerely loved more than myself.. I had never quite understood the pain of Heart break until I lost you.You were/are my heart..I love you deeply baby..Time might have made it easier to cope with the grief but the pain is still very much raw. #MamaLoni


So well said, I love this letter to your precious Loni. I share your pain and I know how so much you miss your girl. I hope in time you can bring your fond memories forward to help heal your broken heart.

Sending positive healing thoughts your way, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Sincerely, Don & Vera

Thanks a lot Bella's mum..everyday I find strength in her memory everyday I miss her,everyday I need her and still everyday I thank God I had the chance to be with her..
Thank you very much for your comforting words through all this..I know we will be okay in time.
Mama loni
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CB
Hi Mama Loni,

I shall think of you tomorrow as it marks 11 weeks for us both. The same horrible day. I know Fiddle will take care of Loni and will love playing. It is all still too recent. I wish you peace though.
Love you forever and ever and I will be there for you xx
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jonancy
Hi Mama Loni

Thinking about you at the 11 week mark. I know how hard these anniversaries can be. Loni knows how much you love her, this love never ends. You are right, time makes it easier to cope, but the pain is still so raw for you.

Take care and I'll be thinking about you tomorrow.

Jonancy...Scooters Mama
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patriciak8
jonancy wrote:
Hi Mama Loni Thinking about you at the 11 week mark. I know how hard these anniversaries can be. Loni knows how much you love her, this love never ends. You are right, time makes it easier to cope, but the pain is still so raw for you. Take care and I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Jonancy...Scooters Mama

scooter's mama
thanks alot,the anniversaries are truly the worst..it always feeels im reliving that fateful day..it has to be on top of my worst days list..the things you wish to forget but never do.
i think now im getting past the denial stage..im accepting that she is really gone and she wont come back and at the same time trying to be contented with the time and small but great memories we made together..
Our babies did truly and purely love us.we have been blessed.
thanks so much for your support.always in my prayers
Mama loni
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patriciak8
CB wrote:
Hi Mama Loni, I shall think of you tomorrow as it marks 11 weeks for us both. The same horrible day. I know Fiddle will take care of Loni and will love playing. It is all still too recent. I wish you peace though.

CB,
I find a lot of comfort in hearing that Fiddle will be with Loni..It is a sad anniversary for us but knowing that they are playing in Dog heaven missing and thinking of us too gives me a peaceful feeling..I know they loved us immensely and its sad for them as it is for us.we will always love them.we will always think of them.they will forever be part of us..
I hope each day gets easier for us..
thanks very much.You are in my thoughts 
Mama loni
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