It's been 16 days since Oliver passed away and it truly hasn't gotten easier.  It actually feels like it's getting more difficult and I'm not sure why.  May be because it's sinking in that this isn't just a horrific nightmare,  it is reality.  I had Oliver's Memorial Service on Sunday which I thought would make things a little easier but it didn't.  Don't get me wrong, the service was absolutely beautiful.  I picked a wonderful spot, all of Oliver's human and furry friends and family were in attendance. There was music, sunlight, happy dogs running around.  Truly a magical ceremony but today woke up depressed and have been feeling depressed all day. Not sure if this is normal but I'm feeling consumed with this and everything Oliver.  I cannot stop looking at photos or talking about him.  My life is so different now.  For seven years I have been taking care of him and my life revolved around him and I didn't mind in the least but now everything seems empty and lonely.  I have my wonderful boyfriend who has been amazing through this but there is a huge void and I'm not sure what to do.  If anyone has any advice, please help

Thank You

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Oliver's Mommy, I know what you mean. My life revolved around my dogs too. They both went to sleep 4 months apart. I had Sam for 12 yrs. Casey for 10 1/2. How do you go from a house full to nothing? I loved taking care of them more than anything else in the world. People used to say, you let your dogs run your life. I would say, NO my dogs ARE my life. I wish I had the words for you, but I just don't. Your baby is beautiful, I love that picture. ((HUG))

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Give yourself time.  16 days is a drop in the bucket.  It does get easier with time.  Each day, try to replace one love drop tear with a happy thought about Oliver. You will soon find that the happy memories lessen the intense pain you are feeling right now.  Please visit Ted's site, you may find some comfort there.
Barbara Lyngarkos
My Beloved Ted 8/7/2005 - 7/7/10
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Oliversmommy, I'm so very sorry for your loss. 16 days is not enough time to expect to feel anything but what you are feeling. I am at 16 weeks, and I can't say that I have gotten to a much better place. Luckily those surreal moments of realizing it wasn't just a nightmare do fade a bit. But unfortunately they are sort of replaced by the dull knowledge that this is just a new reality, and it isn't as fun or colorful. I don't mean to depress you or scare you that it won't get better....I just want you to know that even 16 weeks isn't long enough to expect any real change. When you give your life over to your dog, as we did, there is a huge void left. We will learn to fill that void with happy memories of our loved ones, but that will take a lot of time. Much peace to you... 

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Oliver's mommy,

Your celebration of Oliver's life sounds life it was truly beautiful.  I'm sorry to hear that the next day was so difficult.  Sixteen days is still a really short time; as Schmoobear's mom said, 16 weeks is not enough.

I know that you want to feel better by this time, but grieving is difficult, with lots of ups and downs. The protective numbness of the first week or so starts to wear off and the dull reality of the loss sets in and this is a really difficult time.  Grieving ebbs and flows; you have to go through it all to get to the "new normal" that awaits you.  Oliver is beside you, encouraging and helping in any way that he can.  He knows that this is difficult for you.

Keep coming here, express your feelings.  Read the posts of others who are going through the same thing.  All of this was a personal lifesaver for me.

Thinking of you and your Oliver.


Karen,Kudo and Nico's mom
Earth mom to Marco and Bella
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