johill2011
It's 15 weeks today since I said goodbye to my baby boy, Miz Cat although it only feels like last week.  Slowly the days are getting easier for me and I don't cry everyday now like I used to. I do have the odd day when I go into meltdown, in fact I had one a few days ago when I found some of his hairs on the windowsill where he used to sit during the day.  I think that coming to this forum and reading other people's stories has helped me and by the way this is the first time that I have had the courage to post anything.  I've tried  many times only to be too overcome with my grief to carry on typing!  I still do have the odd time when I feel guilty especially the week leading up to Miz Cat's decline.  He was a poorly boy and I knew the dreaded day would eventually come when I would have to make the decision to let him go (tears are coming now). I have come to accept that my baby boy was ill and incurable (he had CRF). We (Miz Cat and I) battled with the illness for months and I even thought we might get one last Christmas together but sadly we had to say our goodbyes on 4th Dec.  I can't go into too much detail as it is still too hard to talk about it. Miz Cat was the best cat in the world.  My life now feels empty without him but I have to think of the good times we had together.  Miz Cat I love and miss you very much.  I hope that you are happy and free from pain now.  Love you lots.  Mum xx

Mr Mizzie.jpg
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EM
My condolences. I'll say some prayers for kitty Miz Cat. Read the Bible scriptures that this website has on it, they are very encouraging and inspirational.

It's wonderful that now you have the courage to talk about your feelings. Like yourself, I needed some time to garner that courage. It's also wonderful that you read other people's stories here. I did that at first too prior to writing topics and comments on here. Everyone has a very unique story yet there are still many similarities that we can all relate to. Feel welcome to contact me and other members here if you need to or want to. Stay strong and many smiles.
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NormaT
Miz Cat is just gorgeous. It's so hard when you find reminders when not expecting them but it's these things that also remind us of how special our fur babies were (and still are) to us.
Guilt is such a common theme here. I think we all at times have tortured ourselves with ruminations of "should have done this", "should have done that", "could have done the other" but the reality is that do what we can at the time and we do what we think is best.
A course you love Miz Cat.This is clear in your post. It's sad you didn't have the courage to post here earlier but now that you have I truly think you are making steps towards accepting what has happened and moving forward with the support of those who know exactly what you are going through.

Norma
Norma 
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CK1991
Johill,
I am very sorry for your loss! Your cat was beautiful and you gave it 'the good fight'. He knew how loved he was! Hugs to you,
CK
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Bailey15
Mizcat is beautiful! So glad you posted his picture. It was an act of love for you to fight so hard for this sweet little cat when he had serious health problems. I'm sure he knew and appreciated it! And, Johill, I do believe that he is free from pain now and happy. I'm sure if he could, he would thank you for all of the unconditional love you gave him (and I know he gave you in return:)
Wishing you peace.
Hugs,
MJ :)
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johill2011
Thank you all for your kind words of support.  I really wanted to post something on this site earlier but it was so difficult as I was a total mess when I first lost my boy and seemed to be in some sort of daze.  It's only when  I look back now I realize how bad I was.  I used to play back the scenario in my head of my last day with Miz (over and over like a video) analyzing his last days with me.  I was functioning but had no interest in anything, couldn't;t wait to go home and sleep.  I have his ashes in a lovely box which I keep on the bed (he still sleeps next to me at night), I can't bear to get rid of his blankets and other stuff so will always keep them. I know I'll never have a cat that was a special as Miz ever again, but one day I hope to bring another fur baby into my home.
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