Denise180 Show full post »
JennyTeddy
Denise180 wrote:
No I didn't get to. My son listened to me and we talked about Pinto today. He was very concerned about my feelings & how I haven't cried. He thinks it's because I've got alot of other problems going on that I need to be strong for. Like my 90 year old mother, our business and sister in law who won't pay us ren't. That does make sense. I wish I didn't feel so guilty about not being able to go places. I can't even drive to go see my mom. I have a fear of having a seizure even though it's been several years since I've had one. So I have stuck close to home. I think Pinto sensed my problem and that's why he was always by my side. I do believe when I visit him tomorrow there will be tears. I almost cried today talking to my oldest son.


I’m glad you were able to talk to your son today about Pinto 💛 Other stresses in life can take a toll while greiving. But remember to take care of you.

After Teddy passed away the very next week I saw my grandpa who was battling stage 4 cancer and then a couple days later passed away. I wasn’t all that close with my grandpa since I was very little and he wasn’t very nice when I visited him before he passed. But I expected that. I was sad that he passed but I saw how miserable he was in hospic and I know he wanted to go.

I know I’m grieving 100% about Teddy. Sometimes journaling everyday will help you see what you’re truly stressed about and what you’re sad about. That way you can have a clearer head.


I’m so sorry you’re going through a lot during your time of grieving, Dont feel guilty.

If you’re worried about having a seizure even though you said it’s been awhile since then, just listen to your body and yourself and take care of yourself first.

After Teddy passed my Dad was asking me to come down to his house which is a 4 hour drive to visit my grandpa and i said I can’t. I felt guilty waiting until I could catch a ride with my sister and wait a week for me to at least focus a week of crying my eyes out 24/7 because a 4 hours drive emotional dealing with grief of my baby gone. I know in my gut wasn’t a good idea.


So just take care of yourself and try and focus on you and grieving. I hope you stresses cool down a bit and you’re able to focus on the care of yourself. Sending you hugs. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with so much on top of the loss of your baby. 💔💛💕

And when you do visit Pintos grave allow yourself to cry. My heart goes out to you 💛
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
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COOKIES4
Denise180 wrote:
Pinto was fine one minute then next he was dying, I keep thinking maybe if I had taken him to the vet I'd still have him. All I did was hold him even though he kept throwing up, he couldn't even lift his head up. This lasted 2 hours. I'm guessing he had a stroke. I miss my little buddy, I've had to buy a stuffed chihuahua to put beside me because Pinto always slept beside me.
I have been unable to cry so all these emotions are bottled up inside. My family seems to have forgotten him and when I try to talk about Pinto they just shrug it off. I feel like I'm becoming a recluse, nothing interests me although I do sometimes keep my 3 yr old twin grandsons.
My question is how can I make myself cry? I want to so bad. It's stuck in my throat. (I'm on antidepressant & have been for years)
Suggestions anyone?
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COOKIES4
DENISE I UNDERSTAND HOW YOU FEEK, I AM NOT YELLING LOW VISION. BEING UNABLE TO CRY IS OPPOSITE OF HOW I AM "BARELY" COPING WITH THE LOSS OF MY SPARKY A PRECIOUS 28 YEARS AND 10 1/2 MONTH OLD COCKATIEL. .Y BIRDIE WHO WAS OUR CHILD. TALKED, SMART, NOT REALLY SICK. SUDDEN PASSING G AND A NIGHTMARE CREMATION INCIDENT. I CANNOT STOP CRYING, MY HUSBAND HAS NEVER SHE'D A TEAR AND HAS LITTLE UNDERSTANDING G OF MY GRIEF. PINTO IS WATCHING OVER YOU AS SEVERAL FRIENDS TELL ME,ABOUT SPARKY. MY PSYCHOLOGIST SAYS HE WOULD NOT WA T MR TO E SO SAD. I SAY PRAYERS FOR HIM OFTEN, AND HAVE HIS LITTLE REMAINS IN A MEMORIAL BAG, SURROUNDED BY HIS FAVORITE STUFFED BEARS AND RAGS AS HE CALLED THEM. MY HEART BREAKS. FIND WHAT COMFORTS YOU ABD SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PINTO'S BLANKETS AND TOYS. HERE IS SPARKY IT HAS BEEN 5 MONTHS. I AM ON ANTI-DEPRESSION MEDS, VERY LOW,DOSE AS I AM ON MY 85 LBS. CAN YOU TAKE A LOWER DOSE SO MAYBE IT WILL ALLOW YOU TO CRY AND GRIEVE BETTER.
HUGS, MOMMY JOAN AND DADDY JIM (JOAN )
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Denise180
Cookies4, what a beautiful baby you Had! You say you had him 28 years? That is a long time & I can only imagine how devastated you are. I had Pinto 15. People don't understand how bad it hurts. Pinto didn't have a toy or blamket
He was fond of. He was a mama's boy. Sometimes he slept on a pillow on the floor when I was busy or gone somewhere. Mostly he was in my arms or my lap. He weighed only 3 pounds lol. As far as my antidepressants, I don't want to change anything. It was.quite a struggle to finally find something to help me. I've been on them for years after having a breakdown. I also suffer with excruciating migraines, but thank the Lord for a doctor who finally found something to knock them out.
I have a stuffed chihuahua i bought from Amazon that I am sleeping withb (crazy I know). I'm gonna visit Pintos grave tomorrow for the first time. Then maybe I'll quit hearing him walking down the hall at odd hours.
I didn't mean to go on & on. I'll pray for you and hope you find peace. (((((((HUGS)))))))
Denise180
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JennyTeddy
Denise,

I sleep with a stuffed animal now. I totally get it. You’re in my thoughts today as you visit your sweet baby Pintos grave💛
If love could have saved you, you would have lived forever.

  
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Tankie12
I hope your visit today with your sweet baby brings you some much needed relief through tears. The build up must be unbearable, and feeling the need, wanting to, must be horrible to bare. So much pent up, locked in. So needed to even make a tiny stepcrawl away from this darkness . By no means will it happen and wash away the weight of sorrow, but it is a necessary evil on this path of grief. Than, you, are free to grieve for how ever long your heart, soul, and body determines. Like mysweet13, Denise advised maybe reading many of the stories of others will help after your visit. I used to think I just can’t read one more or I’ll never be able to breathe without sobbing breaths wracking my body, yet I couldn’t stop. The loneliness of this grief is easier, the darkness a little less dark, and in time you will see little glimpses of light peak through,,,,,take care of you
Lynn, Tankie’s mom, forever
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COOKIES4
Tankie12 wrote:
I hope your visit today with your sweet baby brings you some much needed relief through tears. The build up must be unbearable, and feeling the need, wanting to, must be horrible to bare. So much pent up, locked in. So needed to even make a tiny stepcrawl away from this darkness . By no means will it happen and wash away the weight of sorrow, but it is a necessary evil on this path of grief. Than, you, are free to grieve for how ever long your heart, soul, and body determines. Like mysweet13, Denise advised maybe reading many of the stories of others will help after your visit. I used to think I just can’t read one more or I’ll never be able to breathe without sobbing breaths wracking my body, yet I couldn’t stop. The loneliness of this grief is easier, the darkness a little less dark, and in time you will see little glimpses of light peak through,,,,,take care of you
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COOKIES4
PINTO IS SUCH A SWEET BABY, SPARKY WAS OUR BABY, I FOUND 3 CASETTE TAPES IF HIS VOICE AND WHISTLING THR OTHER DAY, I WAS NOT LOOKING FOR THEM BUT THERE THEY WERE RIGHT in FTO T IN MY NUGHTSTAND DTAWER. IT WILL BE SO DIFFICULT TO FIND STRENGTH TO LISTEN.I HEAR SOARKY CHIPPING AWAY AT HID FAVORITE COOKIES OFTEN WHEN I AM "TRYING" TO SLEEP. I SLEEP 1 TO 2 HOURS AT BEST OUT OF 24..
PRAYERS TO YOU AND OTHERS. JOAN AND JIM SPARKY'S MOMMY AND DADDY
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