Dear Lotti-da,
    Well girlie it's been thirteen days. I was really trying to make the next entry at fourteen... but the sorrow is so great ... I had to write a day early. I miss our hugs so much !!!!  You know how rough the last year and a half has been. It was so comforting knowing that I was not alone. Having you with me gave me courage to continue.Knowing that we were facing it together made it more bearable. Now that you are gone... I have to continue alone... and it is sometimes more than I can bare. It's crazy, but writing this really seems to help. Several times a day I think of things I need to do for you... then instantly realize that you are gone. That is when the sadness intensifies.
   I have been rather angry lately. Why were you taken prematurely is the most common rage. Angered because the most important thing in my life was removed when I needed you the most.
  Lady, it seems like another life has gone by since I saw you last. I am still left wondering how you are doing... are you cold, lonely, hungry, loved..... all the things I provided you when you were here. I constantly ask Logan and Patches to look after you. I keep asking you to come visit me in my dreams. I really hope you hear me talking to you and calling out your name. I would give anything to go on one of our long walks together. I really miss those moments of cuteness that were so great I had to quit whatever I was doing and just go over and give you a great big hug and kiss. I still haven't cleaned your nose prints off the front door glass. They remind me of when I would leave and look up to see you sitting there .. so beautiful... waiting for me to return.
 I miss you so much girl. You will never know how much better you made my life.
 Love, Dad

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That's so beautiful.
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Phalaris14. we`re now 23 days without our old boy Jim, and I can`t honestly say whether its getting better or worse. Its so surreal. one minute I feel like I`m coping, then the next its all falling apart again. I can be doing something mundane like cooking our dinner and thinking `Yes I`m coping with this`. then a memory surfaces and it all falls apart again. Then guilt sets in - like why are you carrying on as if everything is normal when it obviously isn`t?? It feels like a journey with no ending - emotions all over the place. Guess its best to take it a day at a time, hopefully this lost feeling can`t go on forever. Just so grateful for this site. 

J Taylor
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