BeachieGirl33
It's hard to believe that yesterday was 10 weeks since I lost my Little kitty.  Still hurts.  Still miss him so much I feel like I can't stand it.  So Mother's Day will be another "first" without him.  But I'm thankful for what I do have - 2 sons and a grandson who I love and who love me.  I lost my Mother 3 years ago.  So Mother's Day will be bittersweet but I have my family and I will be thankful that I can spend the day with them. 

Happy Mother's Day to all the Mothers out there!

Betty
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EM
It's been a while but I'd like to say hi and let you know that I still think of you and really appreciate your encouragement and kindness. In some ways things have gotten a bit more calm for me recently, yet in some other ways it's been rather difficult. Overall though I really do appreciate the support you and the other members here have shown me and each other. I truly hope things are brightening up for you somewhat. Feel welcomed to say hi whenever you like. Many Cheers, EM.
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EM
I'd also like to wish you a happy Mother's Day. Make the best of it. Cheers, EM.
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BeachieGirl33
Hey EM!  It's so good to hear from you!  I've wondered about you and how you were doing.  You were one of the first persons to post to me after I lost Little and I've always appreciated the things you said to me and your encouragement.  I would love to hear what is going on with you.  Things with me have been up and down - still really hard and still missing Little so much.  Please stay in touch - hugs to you!

Betty
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EM
Hey Betty, I can tell you're such a positive and optimistic person, with such a bright attitude! You remind me of myself up until just a few months ago! I do admit though, I'm getting 'some' of it back. I'm a mix of both logical mindedness and cheerfulness, so I tend to get into more of a 'happy mood' when I start to figure 'things' out. In other words, when I rationalise things clearly, the guilt starts to go away thankfully. God has encouraged me faithfully, so that is what's really helping! Insofar as your path, I can truly relate to that so much! I believe it's a matter of thinking things through and supporting each other through it. Physically, I feel like I've aged twenty years. I'm sure that if I had a more vast support network offline, then I would be further along with being able to cope and manage. Like I said though and meant, always feel more than welcomed to say hi. More Cheers, E.M..
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EM
Many Hugs to you too!!
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BeachieGirl33
EM thanks so much for your more than kind words.  I am trying to get better and be more optimistic.  As you know, some days are certainly better than others.  Last week I had a hard time - felt like I was back in week 1.  If you've read any of my recent posts, you know I adopted a 6 month old kitten 3 weeks ago.   What was I thinking?  It's been good and bad.  My husband and son have gotten attached but it's been hard for me.  I feel like God sent this kitty to us (I got him from a rescue group) but there have certainly been trials and tribulations!   Sometimes I feel disloyal to Little.  Sometimes I guess I'm afraid because I know I'll have to go through the pain and grief again one day.  Maybe that's it in a nutshell - I'm afraid to love another kitty again.  But I do know I will never even come close to loving another kitty like I do Little.  He was my "once in a lifetime". 

Anyway, I digress!  I think I am better than I was at the beginning.  I don't cry all the time anymore and I can talk about Little without breaking down.  That's not to say I don't still miss him and always will.  Still light a candle for him everyday.  Still talk to him everyday and kiss his picture.  I'll never be over him but I can cope better now.  Wouldn't have been able to have gotten through any of my trials without God.  "With God all things are possible".

Take care of yourself EM! and thanks again!

Betty

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EM
You're very welcome! That's great that you rescued another kitty. I can understand though how you may feel as you do regarding that. Everything happens for a reason, plus God is in control. God will provide you with the care and compassion and love for all of your loves ones. You may at times like you're slighting either of them, but you're not. Just make sure to love them both equally.

Regarding your difficult days, I still go through them too. For all of the many wonderful years my pooch and I have enjoyed, I still feel so guilty about the couple or so days and weeks when I didn't want to believe that he was sick with something that maybe I could've intervened with. There were indicators and for some reason I just didn't come through for him. Most likely I wouldn't have been able to do anything to make a difference, but it's unsurity that eats at me.

It's important to stay positive. I went from being a doer to a recluse over these past months. On the very few days here and there where I don't feel guilty, I can do things like 'shower', 'leave the house', etcetera. It's a chore though. I do pray to God though and read the Bible, and that is what has kept me going through this.
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BeachieGirl33
I am thankful to God that I had a really blessed Mother's Day.  I missed my Mother and my Little of course.  But I'm thankful that I had my family with me.  Kitty is doing better and seems to be adjusting.  I'm doing some better with the situation.  It's going to take time for me to get used to him.  I've come to accept that I'm not ever going to get over losing Little.  It's something I will have to learn to cope with but it will never be gone from my heart and my mind.  Tomorrow will be 11 weeks since Little left for Rainbow Bridge.  11 long weeks but then again it seems like it was only yesterday.  I still miss him so much.

EM - good to hear from you again!  I hope your days are starting to get some better.  You shouldn't feel guilty about your doggie.  I guess though we all feel guilty.  I have guilt about my Little also.  I guess that's normal to second guess yourself and wonder what you could have done differently.   I guess we all think we could have done more.  I know I would have done anything for my Little if he could only have gotten well.  Please continue to stay in touch with me. Please feel free to elaborate on why you feel guilty.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you.  Remember - With God all things are possible. 

Hugs to you!

Betty

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