Dalidog
10 weeks ago this morning you left me suddenly.  I will always have negative feelings about Saturdays, the rest of my life.  But I will always light your candle and tell you thank you and that I love you every Saturday......until we meet again.  Every Saturday is not only a benchmark of your leaving, but one week closer to being with you again.  Don't forget me Dali.  I love you my baby, play with your friends at the bridge until I get there. I can't wait to be with you again.  I'm sorry we didn't get to say Goodbye, but we will get to say GoodMorning again. DSCN4311 (3).JPG 

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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Lilimarie
What a sweet little girl. I'm sure yAll were inseparable. And she gave you the happiest of days. I lost Benni on a Saturday afternoon and I loved the weekends until then. The past 2 days have been so hard. I just want to cry and numb myself. I keep playing over in my head how I found him. Why did he have to leave that way? This has changed me. My life has become so different and unhappy without him. When I'm home, I go over all the moments we spent together and the love he constantly showed me. I'm so restless. My heart is restless. I still do not sleep in my bed. It's been 4 weeks and I'm still on the sofa. It's too hard for me. It would cause me more grief. I hope you do something today that maybe you and Dali did together to r remember her by. Dali will never forget you because you loved her that much. Sending you love and strength.
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Dalidog
Thank you for your comfort.  You know how I feel about Saturdays, they are so hard.  They way they left without warning so suddenly kills me.  I know you understand, given the way your sweet Benni left.  I sleep in my bed with a picture of my Dali under the pillow.  Every night when I go to bed I take the pillow off my bed that I had bought for her the day before she left (she only slept on it once, but I will NEVER wash it).  I put the pillow beside the bed and take her picture from my night stand and talk to it and put it under my pillow.  In the morning I reverse things.  NIght was my favorite as she always got on the bed with me and slept right next to me.  If I woke up in the middle of the night I would pet her and talk to her, now I just reach under the pillow and hold on to the frame her picture is in.  Strange comfort, but it helps.  Went to my brother in laws this morning and he has a dog that is 17.  I just look at it and feel so cheated at the years I will not have, but then I try to give thanks for the ones I did.

Working on Dali's scrapbook today and going through my camera cards to find pictures of her.  Staying home the rest of the day, as we always had Saturdays together.  I miss that so much.

Four weeks is not long for you, but I'm sure it feels like a lifetime.  Every day feels that way.  There are good days and bad days, mostly bad days....and then there are those Saturdays.  I wish I could say it gets better, but I haven't found that comfort yet.    It is worth all the pain in the world for a moment with that unconditional love.  Take care of yourself. 

I haven't worn makeup in 10 weeks because it wouldn't stay on because I never know when the tears will come.  Yesterday I bought Clear mascara..figured maybe one day I'll try that.

Hugs to you and your Benni.





Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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shantismom
Love that picture, just want to pick her up and hug her.
I know you are having a difficult time, my heart goes out to you.  

Marlene Wagner
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Dalidog
Thank you Marlene.  This is my favorite pic of her.  I can't get it clear online, but I have a very clear copy on my "Dali shelf" on my bookcase.  I talk to her.  Today has been especially hard, I want to hug her and smell her and play with her so badly.  Thinking of my bright light Dali makes me smile.  Thank you for your thoughts

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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JaspersMom
Your words so filled with heartbreak brought me to tears, and that is so touching when you wrote how with each Saturday, you were one week closer to being with your Dali, and even though you were not able to be there to say goodbye, you will one day be able to say good morning once again. I so understand  and feel the same way about my Jasper, with each Monday that passes, I am one day closer. I mean I am still living my life and trying my best to forge ahead through the sadness, but my world will never be the same again, and I know you can understand when I say that such a part of me is missing, and this empty  place in my heart will never be filled, at least not here on this earth.

But I will honor my sweet boy's memory by trying my best to be as strong as he was, as inspiring as he was, and as loving as he was, he loved unconditionally, as did your Dali, and I am going to try to make him so proud of his momma, that even though he had to go, I still have unwavering hope and faith that we will be together again, and as our sweet babies watch down upon us, I know they can feel the depth of the love we have for them. Whenever I think of my last moments with my Jasper, these words always come to mind ... "Love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation."  Thank you for writing and sharing your beautiful tributes to your sweet Dali, she must be beaming with pride at the bridge to know she is loved so very very much.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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Dalidog
Thank you Jaspers Mom.  I know I am not alone when I talk to people on this forum and there is such comfort in knowing people here understand.  Everyone in my life knew how much my Dali meant to me and that she still does.  They never mention her and that hurts me.  I think they know it will make me cry.  I never told any of them, they asked me where she was when they would come over and I would break down.  Couldn't tell them, it made it too real.  Today I was asked by my sister in law how Dali is (I had not seen her since Dals left).  All I could do was die inside and all I said was "she's an Angel".   My daughter and I spent the afternoon making baskets of pet supplies (food, blankets, treats, hand sanitizer, paper towels, etc.) to take to the shelters (dog and cat) next week.  Each one has attached to it a bell and a picture of Dali with the words ....From Dali.   I can't buy things for her anymore, so the least I can do in her honor is to periodically take supplies to the shelter for the furbabies that don't have forever homes.  The animals break my heart, but I have no energy or desire to have any of them.  My Dals was always jealous of other animals being around me, although she loved to play with them.

We have to forge ahead, but it certainly is not easy.  I am amazed how much my life has changed since she left.  Used to love to lie on the sofa with her, petting her, talking to her while I watched TV.  Always made point to bring her something when I would go out, sometimes going through McDonalds drive thru and ordering a hamburger ---but only give me the meat.  They would laugh, but they knew why.  We have an Eskamoes Ice Cream by my house that has a dog menu.  I would go through the drive through and order something and always get Dali a dog sundae (vanilla yogurt with a dog milkbone sticking out).  She loved it and knew it was for her.  I miss those days so much.  I drive past there, but can't imagine stopping there now.  It is a new life, a different life, and I am trying my best to be strong and live it the best I can.  Try to think of the good memories, and there are too many to count.  I hope you are doing okay, I know your Jasper is waiting for you too.  Hugs to you and Jasper

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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JaspersMom
I know just what you mean Dalidog, about how it hurts that no one talks about your girl, and that is the same scenario with my Jasper. As soon as I so much as mention my boy's name, people seem to change the subject and seem quite uncomfortable, and that bothers me. Perhaps they mean well as they don't want to open the floodgates of grief so to speak, but I say open them up, our babies were here, they are here, they count, they matter, and they hold our hearts forever and a day.

How wonderful of you to give baskets of pet supplies to the shelters in Dali's name, such a loving tribute to her, and such a sweet way to cherish her and the very special bond you two will always have. I feel sometimes that I am just muddling through one day to the next, just waiting and hoping for another sign, just waiting and hoping  to see my beautiful boy once again. It is so hard to be strong when you have lost your best friend and the light of your life, how well I know this. You are right, it is a new life, a different life, and I must say this new normal is anything but, how could anything be normal or right without our little ones  by our side. Thank you so much for your kind words and understanding, it really does help to know we are not alone in this. Hugs to you and your Dali.
Pamela Lynne Crawford
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Dalidog
The comfort we get from this forum is life saving.  I love to talk about my Dali, but I also love to hear about and see pictures of all the wonderful animals that have gone to the bridge with my Dali.  I get comfort from the forum knowing she is not alone and learning about those with her.  I think you are right that people don't talk about them because they feel uncomfortable and don't really know what to say.  I can't stand when people ask me if things are "better".  No way they will ever be, they are just "different".   I know I am far different now and view things in a totally different light.  Everything from this life to the afterlife.  I wait for the next sign from Dali, but I tell her to not worry about me and to enjoy herself, she took care of me when she was here.  Signs will come because I know she checks on me.  Sometimes I feel her presence or instinctively reach to pet her somewhere.  Thanks for all the kind words.  I appreciate you.  Tell me all about Jasper!

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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loft2111
I was thinking of you and Dali yesterday. The day of their passing is never going to be easy for us. I hope you're taking care of yourself as I know Dali would not want any less. Thinking if you, I'm sure our babies are having fun together!
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Dalidog
Thanks...I am okay.  I was doing good today until I went to the mall this afternoon.  Watching all the people happy and shopping and the Christmas music....I had to get to car fast and cry the whole way home.  How can there be Christmas this year.  Today was one of those days, over and over again in my mind what happened, how guilty I feel.  A good cry and I am usually okay until the next episode.

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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animal_qwackers
Dali is so gorgeous and cute. She looks so pretty with the bow in her hair.

I don't like shopping since my Gonzo and Solly left me. All I want to do is get away from Christmas songs and trees and presents and decorations and anything that reminds me that Christmas this year will be a sorrowful affair. I can't bear it. The experience always reduces me to floods of tears, and when I get home and my beauties are not there to greet me, the tears still flow until I feel washed out. I wish this year was over. It's been a nightmare of a year. I should have known, when I had an unwanted blast from the past on the last day of January, that this year was going to be a year that would crucify and torture me. I was not wrong!

I wish you comfort.

Wendy

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” – Jack Lemmon

Solly, Gonzo, Daisy-Mae, Ebony, Jerry, Tigger, Bonnie, Suzy, Cleo, Spike, Sooty, and Tibby – dazzling lights that will never fade. Adored, cherished, I was privileged to know you all. Until we meet again, my beautiful babies. Bowls of love and cuddles, your ever-loving, devoted Mummy xxxxxxxxxx


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Dalidog
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this too Wendy.  I too will be so happy when 2014 is OVER.  Christmas spirit is not at my house this year, just lonely and sad.  I wish you peace and comfort....day by day.  That's all we can do

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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loft2111
Yes, a good cry seems to do the trick till next time. I had a crying fit during dinner. Every time I make chicken I think of how I used to make him his portion and he waited so patiently. The loss is heart wrenching and the headache does not seem to dull.
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Dalidog
Little Mans mom...  there seems to be these little triggers (like the chicken) that bring a flood of tears and memories.  The memories are good ones, but the realization of the loss overwhelms us. The last week Dali was with me I bought a rotisserie chicken at Sams because I knew she loved them.  She enjoyed what we didn't eat
I can never buy one of those again and cry every time I see them in the store.   I bought a new truck about a month before Dali left.  She was riding in it and made a big scratch on the glove  compartment with her toenails when she tried to stand up and look out the window.  I remember fussing at her, but now every time I get in the truck I look at that scratch mark and my heart sinks.  Sometimes I cry, other times I smile because she did it.  I will never try to fix it or cover it up.  It will always be a trigger of how excited she was to go riding with me.  I hope you are doing okay.  Hugs...Dalis mom

Dali, as much a daughter as any human...  pure love
Until we meet again

http://rainbowsbridge.com/residents/DALI003/Resident.htm

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