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jonancy

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One month ago today, I lost my baby boy. Again, I think I'm doing better and then last night and especially this morning the tears increase. I do better when I leave the house, but when I come back its bad. This morning at 10:15, I think I had an anxiety attack just remembering the hour to hour playback in my head of when Scooter died. I'm getting through the days and nights but I miss him so much. I keep saying I can't believe a month has past already. Yesterday, I noticed a crack on top of his urn. I called the vet and was advised to call the company. Luckily, they said they would send me another urn. I hope its okay to open and replace his ashes in the new urn. I guess I don't even know what I'm saying or asking, I'm doing really bad right now.

Hugs to all

Scooters mama


Scooter, my little honey nut...I love and miss you so much! Daddy too!!
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Kittypup

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I am so sorry for your loss, Scooters mama. I truly feel for you.
I tell myself, time will allow me not feel as hurt, and as empty, and as cold as I do now, just a week from my own dog's death. But I fear that this may also not be true . . .
I wish comfort to all of us who are grieving.
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AliceM

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Reply with quote  #3 
I am so sorry for your loss and that a month has not eased much of your pain. I sincerely hope that one day life for all of us will not be such a struggle. I, like so many others here, have such a long way to go. My thoughts are with you.
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jonancy

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Kittypup and AliceM

I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for taking the time to comfort me in your own time of pain. My heart goes out to you both. Your pets are both so cute.

Jonancy
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Huntngrl22

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Reply with quote  #5 
Awe I'm so sorry, hope you find comfort.
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jonancy

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Thank you Huntngirl22

Scooter..

Mama is really having a sad day today. Can't stop crying now as I write this, so I'm not going to say much. I love and miss you everyday. You would have loved it today, it was beautiful, not cold. I was told it would get easier, but honey, right now it's so hard to get through the day and night without you by my side.

I hope you know how much you mean to me! How much I love and miss you!!

Mama
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jonancy

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Hi baby. Another week tomorrow since you left. Mama had a really bad yesterday and today, I miss you so much it hurts. I keep looking at pictures of you and got a headache from crying. Scooter, I hope you know how much you are loved!!! I miss you, my little honey nut...life is not the same without you.

Always and forever in my heart

Mama
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jonancy

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Scooter...Five weeks ago today. Mama is hurting so bad from missing you. I hope you are wagging your tail and having fun with all the other furbabies. Mama's doing a lot of crying so I can't write now.

Always and forever my little honey nut..

Mama
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jonancy

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Hi baby!!! Tomorrow it will be six weeks since you left. Mama is still crying, never forgetting you. I hope you know Scooter how much you are loved and missed. Please know, mama and daddy did what we thought was right for you, forgive us for any mistakes we made. I am feeling so guilty of letting the vet take you in the back for an x-ray and I heard you cry out. Scooter, I didn't know that an x-ray would hurt you. I'm crying everyday that your mama let you have pain on your last day. I let you down, I always said I would never let anything hurt you. I'm crying too much now, going to say bye for now.

Love and miss you..my little honey nut

Mama
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jonancy

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Scooter

Mama loves you and misses you so much!! Six weeks today. I hope you are running with your new friends and having fun. I still want a dream about you, I miss you more than words can say.

Bye for now

Mama
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Bellamum

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Hi Scooter's Mom,
I am sure that Scooter is up there running and playing and enjoying himself while he waits until it is your time to join him.  They are now in Paradise and are happier than we can imagine...that is their reward for all that they gave us.  They deserve it.

I just read your previous message to Scooter...the one where you apologised to him for letting him down....You never let him down.  You did everything that you thought was the best for him.  The feelings of guilt and regret are hard to cope with aren't they?  I think we all have them, regardless of the circumstances of our loss.    Try not to remember Scooter's life with you by the last moments, but rather, by the many, many moments of love, laughter and loyalty that you shared.  That is what he would be remembering.  (I know it is hard!)
Sending comforting thoughts to you and hugs to your Scooter and my Bella.  May they be playing happily in the sunshine.

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(Bella, Charli and Buddy's very lucky mum)

My gorgeous girl, Bella  26/07/2004 - 03/04/2014
"You were once by our side, but you will be forever in our hearts. Until we meet again baby girl."
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jonancy

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Reply with quote  #12 
Thank you Bellamum for your kind words. I need to hear this, I will be reading your message again when I am at my lowest. I am thinking Scooter and your Bella and all the others are happy together.

Thank you for comforting me. Thursday mornings are the hardest for me. I don't know how to stop reliving his last day over and over in my mind every Thursday morning. My thoughts are with you too.

Jonancy...Scooters mama
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ahartofilis

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Reply with quote  #13 
Hello Joancy, Scooters mama, thanks for asking about Rudy on Coco's thread. I also wanted to tell you that I relate and know how difficult that 6 week marker in time is. I think that most of us will always feel badly about the pain and suffering our beloveds had to endure their last weeks, days, or hours. I also find comfort in what Bella's mum wrote, their lives are are defined by the wonderful life and love they had with us. That love will transcend time, circumstances, and whatever was out of our control. Scooter knows how much you love him, he always will!

I think that having Rudy now is very good for me, and him. I didn't know if I was truly ready to open my heart to another. Three months after Coco's loss I still found myself crying every day over her. I also knew that the tears weren't going to end. The spring and summer months are upon us, the time I would love to be out with her, and her favorite time of year.
I know that so many of us really miss having that canine "soul" in our lives. It is actually comforting and there is a familiarity with Rudy. I really feel like a part of Coco lives through him! Its another way for me to feel close to her again. I have found a new appreciation for the life I shared with Coco. She was one of a kind, they all are. Rudy is very different. I appreciate the differences in him. Yet he is a Labrador and has a lot of similar ways and looks as my girl. Of course it makes me sad at times. I miss Coco so very much!
Was I ready for this? After having Rudy for almost a week now I can say, yes, I was ready. It is all so individual Joancy. So I am just sharing my feelings with the hope that it may help you. Coco will always have first pawprints on my heart. This is all new territory for me and as so much in life goes these days, I take it day to day. I am very much still in grief for my girl. Having Mr. Rudy really does take the edge away from that grief, mixes some good in with the sad. Probably because he is a pup and needs so much attention!!! Whatever you decide to do, I hope you continue on the road to peace and healing.............take care,.......................Sincerely, Andrea.
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jonancy

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Reply with quote  #14 
Andrea

Thank you! I had thought that the more time passed it would become easier. The six week mark was very hard for me, you are so understanding. Sometimes I think I don't know how I would have made it this far without the support of my friends on this forum. I told someone about this place, they couldn't believe that with all of us grieving the support is amazing. Thank you all for the help I have received. Andrea, please keep us updated about Rudy, it makes me smile.


Scooter...Mama went to see Neil Diamond last night with Lori and Sandy. For the two hours I had a great time. During one song baby, I looked up and missed you it reminded me of you and me at home. You are always with me baby even when I'm singing with Neil, like you heard at home. Love and miss you my little honey nut.

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Apollo_the_great

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Reply with quote  #15 
It's been since 1-11-2015 since we had to put our baby Apollo to sleep and I cry just about every day for him. He was only 7, and I can't believe that they couldn't control the seizures. I miss him so much, but I am more sad because he was so young. It seems no matter how our babies left, all of us feel the same. it is an unbelievable experience, that I would hope that I would never have to experience again. Unfortunately, I may have to, because Apollo was my sister's dog, and Onyx is my baby. I think it is more painful to pass before your baby, because they might think that you abandoned them. I guess it is a no win situation. What can we do? My girl is lonely, Apollo was her boyfriend. I just know that I miss Apollo so much. I feel for you, I really do.
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