Yuki knew how much you loved him! It's hard but try to focus on the good memories. It's always easy to see things we could have done differently in life in hindsight but none of you could have known that this would happen. You gave Yuki a good life and he knew that he was loved. That is the most important thing. I know there is nothing I can say to make you feel better. I lost my baby Jasmine 3 weeks ago today and I still can't stop crying. I miss her every second. We just have to do our best to focus on the good memories even though it hurts. I'm told that the sharp edges of grief will soften with time but we will always miss them. We just have to take it one minute at a time. I'm so sorry for your loss.
"You will lose someone you can't live without, and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn't seal back up. And you come through. It's like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly - that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp." - Anne Lamott
I miss you every minute of every day, my sweet baby Jasmine.