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traci

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #1 
Two days ago we were forced to put to sleep our beloved cockapoo Bunches. We had him for 11 years and he was part of the family- even slept on my husbands head every night. I cannot eat or sleep and have been crying uncontrollably. Both my Uncle and Grandpa died recently and I didn't even react this way. I have 3 young children so obviously I have to function but its been awful. Any coping advice?
judylinn

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Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 3,470
Reply with quote  #2 
Traci, I'm so sorry about your beloved baby Bunches. It is such alot of agony losing our little loves. they are so innocent and sweet. The only way through it is to allow your self to grieve, thats hard with kids. are you able to take any time for yourself, where you can just freely cry?
Grieving loss, triggers other painful losses, but alot of people have a much harder time with the loss of their pet, because the love is so pure and unconditional. Bunches still lives on in your heart.
I think coming here to this site will help, because we can help to support you. I came here and wrote and just sobbed when it was new to me, and it's what got me through.
I'll keep you in my prayers. judy
traci

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #3 
Thank you so much Judy. It means so much to me that you took the time to write me a response. There is a hole in my heart and it will take time to heal. It was also devastating because this past Christmas was amazing and he was running around like a puppy and unwrapping presents. We knew he was having some back pain but just 9 months before the vet had given him a clean bill of health. So my husband and I were traumatized when just 5 days ago he was in so much pain- leaning over and yelping and crying. When none of the pain meds worked and we wouldn't put him through a painful surgery and rehab when it was only a 50/50 gaurantee, we decided it was time to put him out of his misery. He died in my husbands arms while looking me in the eye and it haunts me- but I know I wouldn't have had it any other way. I keep thinking I hear and see him. And of course would give my left arm for just one more cuddle. I guess I can't believe he is gone- having trouble digesting it. How long did it take you to function normally?
TxGuy

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Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 184
Reply with quote  #4 

Traci: Just a note to let you know that i am praying for you and your family. I remember the raw emotions that occur the first few weeks. Please allow yourself time to grieve and know that we are here to support you since we have also had to make that loving, yet difficult decision to let  loved ones go to the Rainbow Bridge.

mlissd

Registered: 01/03/11
Posts: 10
Reply with quote  #5 
Traci- I'm sorry for your loss.  I just put my cat McKay to sleep on 12/31.  It was devestating.  I did the same thing you did while it happened and the look on McKay's face still haunts me as well-but I just knew I had to be there with her through the end.
I don't have words of wisdom for you as it is still so new to me as well, but I will say that being on this website, posting my feelings and getting such caring responses back from so many wonderful people, has helped me so much.
I hope we will both find peace with our decision soon and know that we did what was best for our loved ones!
thinking of you
Melissa
Meghanm

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Registered: 12/07/10
Posts: 290
Reply with quote  #6 
Traci, I am so so sorry for your loss. It is ok and perfectly normal to react to a pet's death extremely differently from a human's death. I think it's because our pets are so dependent on us; we feel a special sense of duty towards taking care of them. Please do not feel guilty about that. It is just an entirely different situation.

Here is an article that I found helpful. http://aplb.org/services/euthanasia.html
Also here is a thread from earlier that discusses the difference between grieving pets and grieving people: http://forums.rainbowsbridge.com/post?id=494040

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Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
traci

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #7 
Wow- thank you everyone for all of the beautiful words of wisdom and compassion. Meghan- that article on euthanasia really helped as well. Every day is less painful than the one before, yet I still fill empty and like I'm going through the motions. The sense of loss is HUGE. My heart goes out to all of you feeling the same, and I hold you, as well, in my prayers.
duffypalm

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Registered: 01/04/11
Posts: 148
Reply with quote  #8 
I know exactly what you are going through.  I had to put my sweetheart cat
Duffy to sleep on Jan 1, and it hurts so bad.  I had him for almost 20 of his 23 years on earth, and I know he was sent as the best gift to me.
Like you said each day gets a tiny bit better, but there will always be a hole in the heart that they can only fill.  You never can really get over a loss like this, but somehow we can get the strength to go on knowing that we will
all see our loved sweethearts again after we finish our lives here on earth.

traci

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 6
Reply with quote  #9 
I thought I was doing so much better until today rolled around. In fact, I didn't even cry at all Friday until it was bedtime (as noticed by my 4 year old son). But today I feel like a zombie crying and snapping at family. I guess it comes in waves- this grief thing. And even though it hasn't even been a week I feel like its time that others are starting to wonder why I'm still so devastated. Why does it still feel so fresh and raw?????
judylinn

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Registered: 08/06/10
Posts: 3,470
Reply with quote  #10 
traci, the healing process is a slow process, and how it's going for you, is just how it goes. somedays are fine, and somedays are agony. Be grateful for the good days, and grieve on the days it comes. 5 months down the road, I have better times, but days when I just cry alot.
Your loss is so very new, it would be surprising if you weren't like that...it's okay. it's the grief process. and it still is fresh and raw. When you love deeply, it takes quite awhile of grieving.
I think it happens that way, because we can only handle so much at one time. I send you my love and prayers. Judy

Meghanm

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Registered: 12/07/10
Posts: 290
Reply with quote  #11 
I am glad the article I posted about euthanasia was helpful. I myself am having a lot of difficulty accepting and coming to terms with it. Realizing that the quality of life is not what we would want our pets to have is difficult and painful.

Traci, it definitely comes in waves. Some days you will feel perfectly fine and other days it may be difficult to get out of bed (literally or figuratively). I really feel that is normal and even to be expected. I am thinking of you.


__________________
Meghan

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever." ~ The Crow

"We don't "get over" our losses and just move on, we learn to live differently."
~ http://www.angelbluemist.com/frames/guilt.html
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